Three Days In Caye Caulker

DAY 1:

9:00 AM – We Cross the border between Mexico and Belize. Corruption is rampant on both sides. The Mexican official charges me a bogus $100 peso charge per passenger to give them a double entry stamp, which I know is bull because they charge me nothing for the same stamp at the border crossing at Ciudad Cuatemoc. The Belizean side is even worse. For years they had a racket where a local border broker told us that we had to go through a cargo import process that took upwards of 6 hours to process.

12:00 NOON – We arrive in Belize City. The passengers are never prepared for the ghettoness of the city. As we unload our luggage, we’re bombarded by dreadies looking for a handout for something to eat (translation – a bag of crackrock). Belize city is drowning in poverty… not much opportunity in a country of 200,000 people where the biggest industries are tourism, sugarcane and drugs. I pass my van off to my guy Dennis, a local taxi driver that parks the van at his house while we’re on the island so that it doesn’t get ransacked by crackies. We had a little time to spare so the group was off for some Belizean cuisine (fried chicken, beans and rice) while we waited.

1:30 PM – 45 minute water taxi ride to the island. Jam packed with locals bringing goods back from the mainland and nervous tourists hoping that they’re on the right boat or that their luggage makes it to their destination. It’s a great cruise weaving through the Cayes in crystal blue waters.

2:30 PM – We’ve arrived. Drag my passengers and their luggage to the hotel and give them the afternoon free to explore the island.

4:00 PM – Stroll up to the Lazy Lizard, the bar at the split of the island, to chill for a hour or so. Caye Caulker is divided into 2 islands, the north and the south, after a hurricane came through and dug a trench dividing the land into 2 pieces in the 1960’s. The south island is occupied and the north is still pretty much uninhabited jungle. Right where the island splits is the Lazy Lizard... a good bar to hang for sunset and some of the best swimming on the island.

8:00 PM – Dinner at Rasta Pasta and an early exit to the hotel room to get some much needed sleep.

Ahhh... Belikin!

DAY 2:

9:00 AM – Roll to the Sandbox for some breakfast. Good place to eat cause it’s right next to Carlos’ office. Carlos Alaya is a snorkeling guide that I roll with every time I go to Caye Caulker. He’s an incredible guide, the perfect mix of professional knowledge and Belizean charm. Funny and smart and the groups really like him. Plus he goes into the water with you (unlike many other local guides) and points out animals that you definitely couldn’t find on your own.

10:00 AM – Gear up with equipment and jump on the boat. Carlos makes three snorkeling stops during the tour and stops mid-day on San Pedro for a lunch break. The trip was great. He made an unexpected stop near the reef so that we could all jump in an check out a loggerhead turtle that had been in the area for a couple days prior. It was really amazing to swim large and powerful. It was just flapping away over a bed of conch oblivious to the swarm of tourists hoping to get close enough to get a good look. Later we went to the Hol-Chan Marine Reserve and swam through a deep channel in the reef. We saw some huge grouper, spotted eagle rays, northern rays, a green moray eel and various other fish. Did some deep free dives (at least for me… I’ve been smoking lately so to be able to suck down one breath and dive down 25-30 feet is an accomplishment). Then we scooted off to Shark and Ray Alley where the group gets to jump in with some nurse sharks and pretty big rays. Carlos cuts up a bunch of fruit and we all kick back as he cruises around the north island on the way back to the dock.

Here are some of the photos Carlos took on our snorkelling tour. First stop - a loggerhead turtle!

A spotted eagle ray

A HUGE black grouper (almost 4 feet long)

Scottish Dave Playing with a nurse shark

7:30 PM – Dinner at Syd’s… the best (and cheapest) fried chicken and seafood on the island (at least according to the locals). Had the fried chicken and it was as good as it’s touted to be. The crew was happy and full. It was one of my passenger’s birthdays so we gave him a cheesy card and a “Carlos’ Tours” shirt.

Dinner at Syd's

10:00 PM – Off to the “I & I” the local reggae bar… basically a 3 story jungle gym of hammocks and palapas. It’s always a good mix of locals and tourists mingling, drinking “Panty Rippers” and Belkins in a haze of Dance Hall tunes and ganja smoke. We hung out on the back porch where we met “Nick-At-Nite” and his little brother “Alize”. The locals all have some sort of nickname that they go by and these guys were no exception. Alize kept going on about how they run the island and that it was his birthday so we should buy him a drink... not uncommon to have the locals try to squeeze a drink (or more) out of you. He kept running his mouth until his big brother Nick-at-Night lambasted him in Creole. All I could make out is “Shut da fuck up brutha… you talk to fuckin’ much. Dey don’t wan hear you. Ya got ta learn to be quiet” after which Alize said pretty much nothing. Nick-at-Nite was an interesting character too. I asked him what he does and he said “I sell drugs man… I ain’t gonna lie”. He told me about how he has an H3 Hummer back in Belize City and that he works for the “Big Man”. He has 15 kids on the island that will do anything he wants and if I ask anyone on the island “Where’s Nick-at-Nite” that they know where he is and he’ll be there in 5 minutes. It’s interesting to talk to the guys that live on the island. Everyone has a story and they all do what they have to to get by. Besides working in a restaurant or bar, there’s not a lot of opportunity on the island… so people are always hustling to make scratch (or to hook up with a foreign girl – the rasta charm and exoticness go a long way). We hung out at the bar until 12 and then moved to the Oceanside “night club” – a small, sand floored shack with a 15 x 15 foot dancefloor where we hung out with Ras Mega, the New Mexican Mustache guy and the German lady that sells necklaces. Lots of rum and tequila led to…

DAY 3:

12:00 PM - … Sleeping late to shake my hangover. Spent the whole afternoon lounging. Went back to Syd’s for a second dose of fried chicken… mmm! Went to the split to talk with Ras Creek about the booze cruise in the evening.

6:00 PM – Meet up with the crew to have dinner. Another laid back BBQ meal on the island.

7:30 PM – Go to the split to jump on Ras Creek’s Rasta Tug Boat for our booze cruise. In true Caye Caulker “Go Slow” fashion we wait an hour for another group to show up but they’re a no show. We’re joined by Lyle, a Canadian guy that we had met the night before and we chug out towards the reef for an hour and a half “Crooze”. Rum and Belkins were aplenty. We spent the night listening to Ras Creek’s radio tuned into a barely audible reggae call-in radio show from Belize City. We were just enjoying ourselves sippin’ on beverage when all of a sudden we heard Ras Creek big upping on the radio. He had called in the radio show and started passing around the phone so we could all have a shout out on Reggae Radio. It was a laugh…

Ras Creek's Rasta Tug Boat

Kickin' it with BC Kyle and Andrea

Coconut Rum Love

The Crew

10:00 PM – Back to the dock and then off to Oceanside for round two. Hung out for a while and attempted to get my groove on to the reggae tunes. Unfortunately my hips don’t lie and what they were saying is “Dave can’t dance!” Ended up rolling back to the room of some people that I met at the bar for some late night hanging and then making my way back to my cabin to pass out.

DAY 4:

8:30 AM – Wake up, pack and drag my luggage down to the dock to catch the water taxi. Try to wrangle up the crew so that nobody misses their passage back to Belize City.

10:00 AM – Jump on the boat and skip across the blue water back to Belize City and the van.